Monday, June 13, 2016

Click. Click. Click. by Julia Johnson

(The character Elizabeth is based off of the photographer Anne Rearick).


Click. Click. Click.


Something old. My mother’s locket. Check.
Something new. My pearl earrings. Check.
Something borrowed. My best friend’s anklet. Check.
Something blue. The ribbon to tie around my dress. Check.
I peer into the little blue box that holds these four precious items. They’re all here, and I can breathe again. Slightly. The florist just arrived. All of my flowers are intact and alive. The photographer is on her way. I tell myself she will be here soon. I inhale. Everything is falling into place. It’s all going to work out. I exhale.
I hear a knock on my door. “Laur, it’s me. Can I come in?” my sister Jen says.
“Yes,” I say, trying to hold everything together.
The door opens, and Jen walks in wearing her blue bridesmaid dress. I don’t think the dresses are that hideous, but they definitely could be more attractive. My mom wanted them to be uglier, but I stopped her just in time. I didn’t want to put my best friends and my sisters through that. It would be just plain cruel.
“I just wanted to let you know that Elizabeth’s here,” Jen says. Elizabeth is the photographer. She’s amazing. Everyone we know recommends her.
“Oh thank god,” I say. “I’m going to go talk to her quickly.”
As I make my way towards the door, Jen practically attacks me. “Wait! No! No! You can’t leave the room! What if Penn sees you by accident? It’s bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress, you know that!”
“Jen, you know I’m not superstitious,” I tell her this very slowly to make sure she understands.
“But I am!” she exclaims. “Stay put. I’ll get her.”
I sigh. “Fine.” I know there’s no point in arguing with her. She’s relentless. I take a seat in the red velvet chair as Jen scurries out of the room. She pauses before closing the door, saying, “I’m serious Lauren Grace. Do not leave.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I know she’s serious when she uses my full name and my middle name together.
Jen makes sure I’m sitting down before she finally closes the door. I can’t believe I’m getting married today. And at the Annisquam Yacht Club. My fiance and I didn’t think we would be able to book it for a June wedding, but there was a last minute cancellation, and we were the first couple on the waitlist. It was a good omen to start our marriage. I just hope everything else runs smoothly.
As I’m looking out the window, staring at the water, I hear a click. Then, I hear it again.  Click. Click. I turn my head towards the noise and see Elizabeth standing in the doorway, camera pressed up to her face. Click. Click. Click. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” she says. “The lighting is awesome in here.”
“That’s okay,” I smile. “How’s everything out there?”
“It’s going according to plan. We’re ready to go.”
“Good, good.”
“How are you feeling?” Elizabeth asks, sitting in the velvet chair opposite of mine.
“I’m…” I pause. “I’m excited to finally be married to Penn. He’s my best friend, and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.”
“But…” Elizabeth presses, knowing there’s more to that statement. She’s right.
“I keep worrying that something bad is going to happen,” I finally say out loud.
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know. This day just feels ominous to me, and I can’t relax.”
Elizabeth doesn’t respond right away. We sit in silence. It’s not awkward though. It’s comfortable. It’s the kind of silence that requires years of familiarity with a person. But I’ve only known Elizabeth for a few months. It’s nice to know that some people just have a calming presence. This is the least tense I’ve felt all day. I close my eyes, letting the moment wash over me, listening to the sounds emanating from the ocean. I focus on my breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
“On my wedding day,” Elizabeth begins to speak again. “I was feeling the exact same way. I was anxious and scared and it seemed like everything bad that could happen was happening. But then I remembered that I was marrying the love of my life and that seemed to be enough to relax my nerves. I understand that you want everything to be perfect, but life isn’t perfect.”
I look at her, absorbing her words. “You’re right. I’ve just been so caught up in all the wedding planning that it’s making me feel crazy.”
“Why don’t you go for a quick walk outside? I’ll make sure Penn stays in his room.” Elizabeth skillfully adds this sentence. “I know how your sister feels about tradition.”
I laugh. Something I feel like I haven’t done in ages. But it’s probably only been about twenty-four hours. “Thank you,” I tell her, starting to stand up. “I mean it. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you here.”
She blushes. “Thank you, dear. Now go along. The weather is perfect today, and I think a walk will help you clear your head.”
I nod and walk out the door. I already feel a hundred times better. I hear a click behind me, but this time I don’t turn my head. Breathe Laur. You’ve got this. I stroll down the path leading towards the docks. It is gorgeous out here. The sun is shining, the water is clear and blue, the birds are singing, and I’m going to be married in two short hours.
I’m going to be married.
Saying these words in my head makes me feel better. I’m not afraid of forever with Penn. I inhale. I hear a faint sound of clicks behind me. Click. Click. Click. I exhale. I point my face towards the sun, allowing the warmth to spread across my cheeks. After another moment, I turn around and walk back inside. My sister doesn’t know I’m out of the room, Penn hasn’t left his room, and Elizabeth was right, my head is cleared.
I slip back into my dressing room area, listening to my heart beat to a steady rhythm. Thump. Thump. Thump. A second after I grab a glass of lemon water, the door creaks open. “Hey Laur, you almost ready?” Jen pokes her head through the opening.
I take another sip of water. “Yes,” I say.
Jen smiles. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I say, going over to give her a hug. “I can’t believe we finally made it.”
“I didn’t doubt it for a second. You two are meant to be together.”
“I think so too.”
“Everyone’s all set outside,” Jen tells me. “I’m going to let them know that you’re coming.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll see you out there.”
I nod as Jen leaves the room. I glance at myself once more in the full length mirror. My dress is white with a sweetheart neckline. The top half is lace with little pearls embedded in it, but the bottom is plain, fanning out from my stomach down. It couldn’t be more perfect. I just have to add one more thing: the blue ribbon. I go over to grab the little blue box and pull out the ribbon first. It’s the same shade of blue as the hydrangeas in my bouquet. I wrap it tightly around my waist. Next I put my best friend Lily’s anklet on. She’s one of my bridesmaids today. Then I put on my pearl earrings. When I saw my dress on display in Vera Wang, I knew that my something new had to be the pearl earrings I saw at Tiffany’s. Lastly, I take out my mom’s locket. There’s a picture of her with my grandmother inside. She has been such a large part of my life that I felt this need to carry a piece of her on my person today. I make sure everything’s in place before I walk down to the docks again.
My dad’s waiting for my by the door leading outside. When he sees me, he smiles immediately. “Pumpkin, you look gorgeous,” he says. “Are you ready to do this?”
“Yes,” I respond, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Good, but if you’re having any doubts about this, I will whisk you away right now.”
“Dad!”
“Alright, alright. I’m just checking.”
“You don’t have to worry about anything. I’ve known Penn was the one for a while.”
“I know, sweetie. He’s a good man.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t realize Elizabeth was in the room with us until I heard a series of rapid clicks. “Oh Elizabeth,” I say. “I didn’t see you there.”
She laughs. “I get that a lot.”
I feel my cheeks warm. “Sorry,” I mumble.
“Oh that’s okay,” she reassures me. “Everyone’s just caught up in their own lives to worry about me in the periphery.”
“Well I should get out there.” I nod towards the crowd of people waiting for my entrance.
“I’ll see you out there,” Elizabeth says, stepping outside from another door.
I breathe in. “Okay dad, let’s go.” I breathe out.
He turns the handle, and we walk. I place my hand in the crook of his arm. An overwhelming sense of calm passes over me.
Click. Click. Click.
Penn is the only thing I notice as I walk down the aisle, which is just technically the deck outside of the building. Everyone’s standing up, staring at me, but I don’t care. I’m happy. When I finally reach Penn, I give my dad another kiss on the cheek, as Penn extends his hand to me. I take it, giving him a squeeze. “Hi,” I mouth.
“Hi,” he mouths back, smiling wider than I’ve ever seen. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Click. Click. Click.
These small but significant moments are being captured for a lifetime, and I don’t have anyone to thank but Elizabeth.
Click. Click. Click.

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