(The character Elizabeth is based off of the photographer Anne Rearick).
Click. Click.
The sun seeps through the drapes in my bedroom. I can feel the start of a new day permeating through the air. I stretch my arms overhead and step one foot slowly on the ground. Then I place my other foot next to it, already missing the warmth of my comforter. I descend down the stairs and head straight towards the coffee machine. As it brews, I sit down and read the Gloucester Daily Times. My husband must’ve brought it inside already on his way to the gym. The smell of coffee fills my nose, and I inhale deeply, absorbing the strong scent.
I pour myself a cup into my favorite mug from France. It’s the one I always use, except when it’s in the dishwasher. It’s a white mug with an image of a Pentax K-1000, an older camera. I bought it the first time I photographed in the country. The clock strikes eight o’clock, and I realize that I have to meet with the bride and groom soon. I’m photographing their wedding today, and we have to go over a few more things before they start to get ready. They’re a lovely couple, but the bride is a bit of a worry wart. I can’t blame her though; planning a wedding is a difficult task, and it can cause serious anxiety.
After I shower and change into my dress for the event--a simple but elegant black dress paired with black heels--I drive down to the Annisquam Yacht Club. Annisquam is one of my favorite areas in Gloucester. It’s absolutely gorgeous with all the boats scattered across the water, some near the footbridge, some docked elsewhere. There’s always people walking through the village, chatting with their neighbors, walking their dogs, taking the time to enjoy the day, to enjoy the small moments in life. It’s a small, close-knit community within the city, and that’s why I love it. Besides the beauty in the nature, there’s beauty in the people as well.
I have to take several side streets to get to the yacht club because many of the roads in this area are one way. As I park, I see that the couple, Lauren and Penn, are standing on the walkway. They’re holding hands and talking to one another. I can feel the love between them even standing from a faraway distance. I always keep my Nikon camera on me, so I pick it up and discreetly take a photo of them. My lens is very long, which makes it easier to remain hidden. Click. Penn brushes a strand of hair away from Lauren’s face. Click. She smiles up at him. I haven’t seen her so relaxed this entire process. Click. Lauren turns her head and sees me. She waves and starts walking in my direction. “Hey Elizabeth!”
“Hi Lauren,” I say. “Hi Penn. How are you guys?”
“We’re good,” Penn responds. “Ready to be married.”
Penn kisses the top of Lauren’s head, and it seems like it’s almost an instinct for him to do that. He doesn’t think about appearances when he’s with her. She wraps an arm around his waist, and I notice this wedding glow illuminating off her. I want to take out my camera again, but I have to wait.
“I’m so happy for you guys,” I tell them. “So there’s just a few things left we should go over.”
“Alright, let’s go inside,” Lauren says.
Penn and I follow her as she leads us into the yacht club. We sit down at one of the table, and I take out my wedding folder. “Okay, so everything should be all set. I’m bringing several different lenses, and I don’t believe I’ll need any additional lighting.”
They nod along.
I look through my notes. “We covered mostly everything within these last few months. But do you have any questions for me?”
They look at each other.
“I don’t think we do,” Lauren answers. “We trust you Elizabeth. Thank you for meeting with us this early.”
“Of course. I’ll come back around noon, so we can start with the family wedding photos.”
“That sounds good,” Penn says. “A few of our relatives are flying in this morning, but they should be here around the time we start.”
“Perfect,” I say, standing up. “I’ll leave you two to get ready then,”
“Perfect,” I say, standing up. “I’ll leave you two to get ready then,”
“Thank you again Elizabeth,” Lauren gives me a quick hug goodbye.
I walk back to my car, grabbing my camera once more, and snapping a photo of the two of them saying goodbye as they part ways to their separate rooms. Lauren places a hand on Penn’s cheek as she says something to him. Click. They turn away from each other, but as Lauren continues to walk to her dressing room, Penn looks back at her. Click. He’s gazing at her with this unexplainable love. When I first met them, they told me the story of how they met.
She was studying abroad in Paris her junior year of college at Columbia University, and he had just graduated from New York University and was backpacking through Europe. They might’ve found each other eventually in Manhattan, but it was Paris that brought them together. Lauren went to this cute cafe called Carette and was order an espresso when the person behind her in line was shoved and bumped into her. She was about to tell him off when she saw how attractive he was. Instead of screaming a bunch of swears at him in French, she said “Salut, vous êtes d'accord?”
He looked at her like she was speaking another language, and of course she was, but she thought she had completely butchered the pronunciations of the words. “Désolé, je suis de l'Amérique.”
Again, he just stared at her, and then he finally said, “Hi, I’m Penn. Sorry, I don’t speak French. I’m actually from the States even though I’m part French myself.”
Lauren smiled. “I’m from America too. I thought I was saying the words wrong.”
“What’s your name?”
“Lauren.”
And the rest, as the cliche goes, was history.
I spend the next few hours doing errands, and when I return to Annisquam, it’s a completely different environment. Lauren is freaking out. The calm and collected girl I had taken photos of this morning is gone. She has left the building. Her sister, Jen, had come to get me because she wasn’t allowing Lauren to leave the room out of fear of Penn seeing her in her wedding dress. I didn’t think Lauren was the superstitious type, so maybe Jen was.
When I walk into the room, Lauren’s sitting on a velvet chair, looking out the window. The lighting is amazing! The sun is shining through the windows at just the right amount. It’s not overpowering but it’s not too dim. Lauren looks amazing as well. She’s wearing this gorgeous Vera Wang dress. She showed it to me during one of our meetings when Pen had to work. The bodice of the dress is lace with a series of tiny pearls mixed in. The bottom of the dress is tulle, so even though it’s not filled with any extra designs, it is still one of the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever seen.
Lauren turns her head at the sound of the shutter speed opening and closing. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist,” I say. “The lighting is awesome in here.”
“That’s okay,” she says, faking a smile. “How’s everything out there?”
“It’s going according to plan. We’re ready to go.”
“Good, good.”
“How are you feeling?” I asks, taking a seat on the other velvet chair in the room. Wow, it’s so comfortable. I’ll have to get one of these for my house.
“I’m…” she pauses. I can practically see the inner workings of her mind thinking about what to say next. “I’m excited to finally be married to Penn. He’s my best friend, and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.”
“But…” I try to get her to say what needs to be said. Sometimes people just need a little push to really know what they’re thinking.
“I keep worrying that something bad is going to happen,” she says.
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know. This day just feels ominous to me, and I can’t relax.”
I think about what she says, forming a good response that will help ease her nerves. As we sit in silence, I see her starting to relax. It’s like she needed to think through the chaos in her mind and find a sense of stability. I figure out what I believe Lauren has to hear right now. “On my wedding day,” I begin. “I was feeling the exact same way. I was anxious and scared and it seemed like everything bad that could happen was happening. But then I remembered that I was marrying the love of my life and that seemed to be enough to relax my nerves. I understand that you want everything to be perfect, but life isn’t perfect.”
She looks at me with a somewhat blank stare, but then I see her blue eyes clear, and it’s like she’s been opened to this new light. I feel my fingers reach toward my camera. Then, she says, “You’re right. I’ve just been so caught up in all the wedding planning that it’s making me feel crazy.”
“Why don’t you go for a quick walk outside? I’ll make sure Penn stays in his room.” I suggest. Then, I remember Jen’s superstitiousness. “I know how your sister feels about tradition.”
“Thank you,” Lauren says, laughing about my comment about her sister. “I mean it. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you here.”
“Thank you, dear. Now go along. The weather is perfect today, and I think a walk will help you clear your head.”
Lauren leaves the room, and I trail behind her because I feel like it would be strange if I just stayed in here without anyone else with me. I snap a picture of her as she walks out the door. As I bring my camera away from my face, I notice Penn standing outside of his door. He’s watching her. I can’t help but take a photograph of him as well. I think they both will appreciate these single fleeting moments that they don’t see. They don’t realize the amount of love that passes between them with every single look and touch. Then I remember that I’m supposed to keep Penn from seeing Lauren in her wedding dress, so I walk over to him.
“Penn!” I whisper-shout. “You aren’t supposed to Lauren before the ceremony. Get back in your room!”
“Oops, sorry,” he says, sheepish. “She looks beautiful though.”
Aw, I feel my heart melt a little. “That’s very sweet, but if Jen catches you out here, she’ll have a fit.”
That gets his attention. “Right, I’ll just step back in my room.”
I nod. “That’s a good idea.”
He looks at her one more time as she steps outside. “Wait, where’s she going?” Penn asks, pushing the door back open. He looks a bit panicked. I probably should’ve told him where she was going in the first place.
“Oh, I told her to go for a walk to clear her head. She’s stressed out right now.”
His forehead creases, showing worry in his face. “Stressed?” he asks, sounding far away.
“Not about you,” I quickly reassure him. “Just wedding stuff. She’s afraid something’s going to go wrong today.”
He releases the tension in his forehead but only a touch. “Alright,” he says, sounding unsure. But he does go back to his room.
I let out a sigh. Sometimes I forget about all the drama that comes with weddings. I love it though. Then, I realize that since we are doing the family photos before the ceremony, Penn will see Lauren in her dress anyways. There’s a little bit of time before the family photos are supposed to start, so I walk around the yacht club.
There are many people milling around: friends, family, plus ones. I capture the interactions between and every one of them. There’s a little boy clinging to the legs of his mother who is pregnant with another child. Her husband walks over to her with a glass of water. He kisses her. Click. Then, he picks up his son. Click. I see Lauren’s sister next. She’s with her boyfriend. They’re sitting with Lauren and Jen’s parents, just talking. Click. They’re all very comfortable with one another. Jen’s boyfriend keeps a hand on the back of her chair the whole time. Click. I continue walking around the clusters of people.
No one notices me in the background. I’ve gotten quite good at blending into the scenery. It allows me to photograph these candid moments. Some people change when they’re in front of a lens, acting happier than they might be. And then there are the people who are the polar opposite, always hiding behind others when they see a camera pointed in their direction.
I aim to capture everyone at the wedding. They all tell a different story, and I want to uncover each one. Soon the families gather together and we begin to set up the different combinations of people for the photographs. It runs pretty much seamlessly. Everyone is more or less cooperative and patient.
We finish with a half hour to spare before the ceremony starts. I grab a bottle of water from the bar. I’ve learned that drinking on the job is never a good idea. Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way. I find a place to sit down, taking a breather. Then, before I realize it, it’s time for the wedding to commence. All the guests begin to trickle outside, finding good seats. The minister is outside talking to the fathers of the bride and groom. Penn’s outside too, chatting with his groomsmen. HIs hands are in his pockets, and he looks incredibly calm. Click. But he probably is. Men usually don’t take as much part in the wedding planning as women do.
I step back inside before Lauren makes her entrance. When I open the door, I see Lauren standing to the side. She’s waiting for her dad since he’s the one giving her away. We have a quick conversation before I have to go outside. I find a different exit to get there because people might think Lauren’s about to come out if I open the door first. It would make sense for me to go outside after her, but I’m the one who has to photograph her entrance. It’s one of the most crucial moments in the wedding photo collection.
I stand to the side of the bride’s family and friends with my camera at the ready. Then, the piano begins to play. The doors open and Lauren steps out. I can see the nervousness in her facial expression: slightly pursed lips with a crease, similar to the one Penn wore earlier, along her forehead. After a moment, she looks up at Penn, and it’s like everything else suddenly disappears. Click. She smiles so brightly at him. It’s like she can’t contain this light shining inside of her. She has to let it out. Click. It pours out of her in waves, and Penn looks at her with just as much light.
Click.
Click.
Click.
When she reaches him, he takes hold of one of her hands as she uses the other to give her a dad a hug. Her dad gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before letting her go to Penn. I observe the crowd and see that Lauren’s mom has already started to cry.
Click.
Click.
Click.
The minister begins to speak: “We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Lauren Russell and Penn Brown in marriage.”
As the minister talks, I notice Penn and Lauren exchanging “I love yous.” Click. Then they say their vows. I take this moment to photograph the reactions of the audience. Everyone’s either crying softly, sobbing, or has tears in their eyes. I feel a tear making its way down my own cheek. I brush it away and continue shooting.
Penn takes Lauren in his arms and kisses her, dipping her in the process.
Click.
This moment is frozen in time. It’s been captured for a lifetime. Something never to be forgotten. There’s nothing better than the feeling of pure happiness, of this light living inside of you, illuminating your whole being. And all because of another person. Capturing the emotions of this day is by far my favorite part of this business.
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