A Poem by Alex MacDonald

College Poem

While talking about college

We should really acknowledge

What certain schools represent

The Gators, Rams, Cowboys, and Cyclones

Have certain statistics that should be well known

Listen carefully because my facts are well shown

We’ll start with the University of Florida

It’s not all just classrooms and corridors

Some say the tuition is horrible

21,000 a year

Might sound sincere

But it’s not that great because that’s just in-state

Out of state is forty-three thousand

With 50,000 students enrolled, that might seemed crowded

But that’s not the money that is really counted

And Gainesville is the city where the school was founded

The endowment of UF is 1.359 bil

To some that number will give them chills

Some are in college just for the thrills

But in the end they will be stuck paying off bills

But some are in college with shoes to fulfill

Learn skills, and reach the top of the hill

Get a job and make a mil

UF is just your average large public university that a lot of kids attend

Not caring about the money that they’ll spend

Going to the school is really a trend

But we should really ascend to the west end

In Oklahoma

To get into here you’ll need more than a diploma

Stats like these will put you in a coma

Mr. Oklahoma State President

Is probably living rather pleasant

He makes about four hundred and thirty thou a year

And Pistol Pete is the mascot firing shots in the air

The school is about half women, and half men

And their basketball team just barely made the top ten

This school and Florida are rather comparable

Both their endowments are terrible yet tolerable

But a school like Iowa St. is more bearable

It’s endowment and tuition are lower which is a big difference

It’s because of its position

The schools location will drive you insane

Located in Ames

Such a boring place

This school disgraced and misplaced because it is landlocked

It will never be overstocked

Because it is locked in the middle of the country

Most of their students are in state

But you’ll see that is the usual case

Most students chose a state school

So they don’t have to throw all their money in the pool

Iowa St. is definitely a good choice

The only reason it has low attendance is because of it’s location and low voice

Last but not least is VCU

Located in a city that’s huge!

Richmond, Virginia with a population of more than two-hundred thou

With such a large endowment it will make you say wow

And just as the others go, there are less men than women

And the main ethnicities are white, black and Asian.

This schools attendance is a lot higher because of its alignment

That is the main influence on all the schools in my assignment

The bigger the city, the larger the school

And the lower the cost if it is a state school

So by majority rule

That is how these colleges speak for college in general

So if you get the chance

copy this all down with a pencil

Because it is sentimental and could be essential to help you get you credentials to succeed

That is all

Poem by Kate Parisi

To the Parents of (Insert Name Here)

Today your son

or daughter

will be coming home

with a failing grade.

I’m so sorry

that your son

our daughter

cannot comprehend

our rigorous curriculum.

As the Dean of Students

I recommend that your son

or daughter

enroll himself

or herself

in the tutoring program

graciously offered by

the successful students of

Gloucester High School’s

National Honors Society.

This will take place in the library

on the second floor

after school

at precisely 2:10.

In closing,

on behalf of the entire faculty,

we send your family our regards

during this time,

as well as our deepest apologies

regarding your son

or daughter's

inability to achieve

the grades necessary

to receive a passing grade.

All my sincerity, 

Mr. D. E. Ceptive

Dean of Students

Art by Sydney Iwohn

A Short Story by Kacie Quinn

The Turning of the Hands

It’s an important job, though not everyone sees it that way. A twenty-four hour job, no pay, no benefits, no nothing really, besides for the systematic ticking of the long minute hand and then, every hour, the click of the hour hand.

You start off small, as it should be. As I said, it’s an important job, so you have to prove yourself before you get onto the big stuff. You’ve got to work your way to the top.

For myself,  I began inside of a child’s watch. I was in charge of the mouse’s arms, and had to control it along with the time.  The boy got it at a theme park. I was new to the job and, if I do say so myself, was very good at it. I worked flawlessly, tirelessly, day after day, even after the boy lost me in the back of his mother’s car.

Doesn’t it get boring? you might ask. And you wouldn’t be all that wrong. There is a sense of tedium to it, I suppose. Second by second, minute by minute, and hour by hour, the days repeat. And repeat. And repeat…

But let’s not forget about potential promotions! As I said, I began in a child’s wristwatch, and while I don’t mean to boast about my accomplishments (of which there are many), I probably should inform you that I now reside in a rather nice-looking, foot-long in diameter clock hung up in the front of a college classroom. I’m an important asset to the class. At any given moment, you’d be sure to see an exhausted student, gazing up at me, hoping that I’ll show a time that is close to the end of the class. Without fail, I give them the exact right time, down to the second. I do believe that another promotion is due soon. I’ve done my job here for exactly 5 years, 301 days, 6 hours, 22 minutes, and 15 seconds... 16 seconds… 17… 18… 19…20…

I haven’t slipped up once.

There’s a danger, you know, to making a mistake. If you ever hear a person exclaim, “Where has the time gone?” and you look up to see that, indeed, it has appeared to have passed rather quickly, you can be sure that this is the fault of some overzealous newcomer recently put into that particular clock. There are also times when it seems to be treading through mud. It happens often, if a worker is becoming bored with his situation. This usually lasts only for a few hours before the worker remembers how important his job is. Sometimes, though, the worker never clicks out of it, and he stops for extended periods of time. This is a problem.

There was a time, long ago, of one particular worker. He was quite the role model for the rest of us. Started in a measly pocket watch and, within a decade, resided in the clock at Big Ben Tower. He was good at his job, great even, until the day that he decided to stop.

The city went into mayhem. Time itself froze. It remained that moment—three seconds past midnight—for five weeks. Crops no longer grew, families starved, people were in a panic. This is event is not documented because it was too dark to write. So, while it might not be in your history books, it is nevertheless true.

       Then, suddenly, after over a month of this madness, the clock started again. The people—the few that were left, anyway--rejoiced. There was no explanation as to why it had stopped in the first place. All that we knew was that, when it started again, there was a new worker who resided in the clock.

Commentary by Ethan Lally

We're On Each Other's Team

The other night I heard somebody call Lorde ‘arrogant’. Now this person probably thinks this for one of two reasons: he is misinformed, or sexist. Let’s take a look at Lorde and why one might think she is ‘arrogant’. Lorde is a 16 year-old singer from New Zealand who looks, sings, and talks like she’s 25. As well as being an unreal singer and amazing writer, she is very outspoken. Recently, she has called out other female artists, most famously Selena Gomez, for not sharing her feminist values and sending a wrong message to young women. Now some might say that calling someone out for not sharing the same values is a little pretentious. But with that argument you’d have to say that Martin Luther King shouldn’t have stood up for civil rights because he shouldn’t have challenged someone else’s beliefs. Likewise, Lorde has every right to stand up for what she believes in. She’s also got to have a hell of a lot of courage to call out such high profile artists being as young and as new as she is. It’s not like she’s just nonsensically trashing them either, she makes very valid points and speaks with better diction than most people twice her age.

The other interesting thing about Lorde is that there’s never really been an artist quite like her. Her music is simplistic and melodic. Her message is clear. Her demeanor is calm, but confident. And I must reiterate she’s one of the smartest 16 year olds I’ve ever seen, especially compared to the normal pop artist stereotypes.  

    So, what makes her ‘arrogant’?

    First, let’s take a look at the definition of arrogant:

ar·ro·gant

ˈarəgənt/

adjective

1. having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.

"he's arrogant and opinionated"

synonyms: haughty, conceited, self-important, egotistic, full of oneself, superior; (via dictionary.com)

Now, as I have said before Lorde is definitely quite an outspoken individual. But not once have I ever heard her talk about how great or successful she was in an interview. That’s actually something else that separates her from the rest as well, she is incredibly humble. She never talks about how great she is or how much money she’s made from her huge success. In fact she sometimes seems overwhelmed by it all. Nor does she claim to be better than anyone. The things she is calling people out for is not their talent, it’s their message, which is standing up for what you believe in. So, based off the correct definition of the word ‘arrogant’, Lorde does not fall into that category.

    So, why does this person think Lorde is ‘arrogant’?

My initial hypothesis was that this person is either misinformed or sexist. However now that I’ve written on, I think the answer is that the person who holds this opinion is both. He clearly does not know the proper meaning of arrogant, and thus thinks that Lorde is arrogant for her outspoken nature. So, that makes him misinformed. He is sexist because not only is Lorde outspoken, she is speaking out for women’s rights. Plenty of famous artists speak out about things, and I rarely hear them being called arrogant. Then this beautiful young woman comes along preaching feminism and boom, she’s an arrogant, outspoken bitch who needs to know her place. Opinions like these are the reason there is feminism. A woman cannot defend herself or her rights without being looked down upon. And this has always been the case. African Americans, who were considered property in the United States for hundreds of years, were granted the right to vote nationally in the United States before women. The only other reason women were granted the right to vote in a state pre-19th Amendment, which was done in Wyoming in 1890, was because it was advantageous for the state of Wyoming: with women voting they had enough voters to be considered a state in the United States of America. They didn't actually care about women's rights. Even today, women are often put down for speaking their mind. So, by calling Lorde arrogant for standing up for what she believes in, this person is buying into the culture that has oppressed women, opposed feminism, and dominated American culture throughout it’s entire existence.

Photograph by Taylor Cognato

A Poem by Kirsten Salo

Fog

It cloaks the city in denseness

wrapping its tendrils around

the peaks of buildings, spooking

gulls at its presence.

The chill rattles every bone of the

city seeping deep into the marrow

of each structure that spirals up

into the grey sky.

The city is lost between the

low-lying clouds of morning,

wandering to work in a haze of

impenetrable mist.

The sun begins to peek its rays

into the opaque air, burning

the confusion away leaving only

the mystery to linger.